we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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