Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
