I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize