Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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