What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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