I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
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honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
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It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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