Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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