Cold hands, warm shart.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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