Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize