why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
