I'm drive I can fine osifer
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
