Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
