and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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