I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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