Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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