Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
