apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Actions speak louder than pants.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
