so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
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duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
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They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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