So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
