Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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