you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
