Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
