Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
