That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
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It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
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Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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