i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
