garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
