I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I did not marry a roomba.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
