I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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