ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
