Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Randomize
