Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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