I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
