She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
