if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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