$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
