Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
