There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
