You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
