Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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