I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
