We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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