Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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