Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
