i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
