I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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