We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Don't EVER smell your tampon
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
