I can text with my tongue
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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