Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
