I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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