Where is the hickey?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
