Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
