lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.