Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom