i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.