I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell