New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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