The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
