I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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