Sponge bath it is.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize