She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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