Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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