So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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