I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
nutella sex= disaster
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize