I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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