its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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