Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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