I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
