You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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