I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
it was like eating out sand paper
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
