the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
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I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
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I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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