I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
