Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
