he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
