Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
