i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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