she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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