Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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