no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Randomize
