dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
