i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
